THE MORDANT SCRIBE

Cynical musings of an absurd mind.

Category Archives: Bacon Saves The World

Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 30 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

Behold! The power of Bacon! Inside Shoe Carnival, everyone is busy stuffing their faces with Jib™ bars. The past few hours were intense and everyone is as hungry as they are tired. Lunchbox, using his training as a Cub Scout, tends to Kitty’s wound, as she uses her remaining hand to hold Lunchbox’s Jib™ so …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 29 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

Mime is Money   Mick and Evan lie at t’Evar’s feet, circled by t’Evar’s minions; all of whom are chomping at the bit to end the humans, but this victory belongs to their Supreme Leader. Mick lies motionless, blood draining from his stomach. Evan can’t even crawl over to his wounded husband, because he himself …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 28 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

The Great Mime Massacre Yukon and Geoff dipped into a storefront with a busted facade, as the Stamp Zzod amused itself with a group of mimes trapped in imaginary boxes just outside the store. The beast was almost upon them, when they turned the corner. Luckily, the Stamp Zzod thought the mimes were more interesting …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 27 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

  The Best Laid Plans of Vampires and Men   Mick was getting jumpy; he was ready for more action. During their time at Shoe Carnival, all that was being done was planning. Mick wasn’t used to sitting around and waiting. In his line of work, all the planning took place before he arrived on …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 26 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

  Crouching Alien, Hidden Shoebox   On the top floor of the Homeland Security Building, Anna Naranja and Langhorne Atherholt were keeping watch just outside the lab, as Lunchbox and Fritz were feverishly working on Fritz’s chemical weapon. Anna and Langhorne finally had some alone time to discuss their shared near-death experience. “I really thought …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 25 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

The Facts of Life Tad, Rose, Katie and the waiter formerly known as Tom, were hunkered down in the sex dungeon, waiting for the commotion outside to die down before attempting to search for the others. Shortly after the four formulated their, run like hell strategy for reaching the White House, they heard what sounded …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 24 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

  Cold War II: This Time It’s Personal   Eastwood was the first to the door. He flung it open and everyone hurried inside. Melvin was the last one in and a few spheres were hot on his trail. Eastwood slammed the door behind him. “Is everyone okay?” Eastwood asked. “I’m afraid not,” President Bacon …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 23 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

Balls of Fury Yukon and Eastwood entered the White House, while everyone waited right outside. For the White House to be open like this, did not bode well. Numerous windows were busted; there obviously was an attack either by rioters, looters or aliens. Sometimes, in extreme circumstances such as these, people were more dangerous than …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 22 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

  Wake Up, Asshole   In an unfamiliar, dark room, a voice gently calls out… Tom… Tom… Wake up… “Why do you guys insist on calling me that? I’ve told you, my name is not Tom,” mumbled Tom the waiter. “It’s–” “Tom!” A voice interrupts as a tight fist swiftly and forcefully strikes Tom the …

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Bacon Saves The World – Chapter 21 by Bryan Robertson & Marietta Rodgers

Aliens Are People Too The Supreme Leader of the Inkaku stood in silence. Everyone in the command room turned to look at him for direction. He slowly sat down on his floating beanbag throne and looked up to the ceiling, as if the words were floating above him, and he just needed to pluck the …

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