Interview with Author Nathan Lund Eastman

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Today I’m speaking with the very sophic, Nathan Lund Eastman, author of Poet’s Memorial Hospital Fund. PHMF is a compelling book about redefined beliefs and the metamorphosis of friendship.

M: How did you come up with the title, Poet’s Memorial Hospital Fund? In the book, it’s just a bookcase with empty beer and wine bottles. Is that the case, or is there more of a backstory to it?

N: First off, I just want to say thanks for taking the time to do this. You’re the first person who has ever interviewed me, and I appreciate your interest in my work. As to the title, well, that’s actually a novel in itself. The title I had for ages was, The Whole Sad Monstrous Scheme, which I like as a title, but it didn’t fit the book. So, I scrapped that and started calling it, The Romantics, because the two main characters are very romantic in their ideas about life, which get crushed in a hurry.  There were two problems with the title. One, was that it was a 2010 film starring Katie Holmes and John Duhamel, which was a hard pill to swallow. The other problem, was that I started playing up the ‘romantic’ sections of the novel, with loaded language meant to point the reader to the overall ‘meaning,’ which reeks of contrivance. So, I looked back through the book for a phrase and found, Poet’s Memorial Hospital Fund. There is more to it than just a bookcase full of bottles, because it comes up again at the end, when the contexts of the characters’ lives have been radically altered. So, the title has a double meaning, a lighthearted meaning, and a more tired meaning.

M: How long did it take for you to write the novel? Were you on a schedule with certain writing goals, or was it more random?

N: Writing has never been a back burner activity for me. I’ve done it daily in some capacity for years, and more so in recent years, as time has begun to creep up on me. I write seven days a week, two to five hours a day. This book took… eight years, maybe nine, which is obscene. I thought it would be easy to write, because it’s based in large part on actual life experiences of myself and a very good friend, but I’d read way too much David Foster Wallace and Jon Franzen and tried to emulate that maximalist style. It blew up in my face like pinata full of C-4. If memory serves, there were at least ten different beginnings and five distinct drafts, and they were drastically different from the first. I had friends, who helped me along the way, most notably a poet named, Courtney Queeney, who told me it read like therapy in too many places. She was right, so I cut all that. That was probably the fourth revision. The the last revision, was just me being absolutely ruthless and cutting everything that didn’t serve the story, and as a result, much of the dialogue went out the window. This scared me, because it’s a story about two friends, and that friendship in real life is based in large part on a dialogue, that’s been running for almost two decades now. So, I found ways to suggest that the characters were talking all the time, and then wove those tidbits into the narrative in such a way, that the story felt like an extension of that ongoing conversation. That was the hope, anyway.

M: Your novel centers around two friends, Paul Strickland and Chris King. I love reading about friendships, whether real, like Thomas Becket and King Henry II, or fictitious like, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, because friendship is a different kind of bond between two people. Have you had/have the type of friendship that Chris and Paul have in your life?

N: Yes, totally. Real friendship. Let me clarify something, I’m very much a loner. I went through much of my life socially alone, except for girlfriends, but there came a time, where I needed someone to help me navigate a very difficult passage of life. I couldn’t trust my instincts anymore, because my instincts are what got me into that mess. My friend helped guide me through. The decisions I made as result of his counsel, turned out to be good ones, and I am forever indebted to him. If I hadn’t had that support, my troubles would likely have been multiplied exponentially. That’s part of what the book is about. The other part, is a wide angle look at two characters confronting adulthood (parenthood and divorce for Paul, cancer and addiction for King).

M: Chris King is an interesting character and reminds me very much of Dean Moriarty from, On the Road, and the first part of the novel is very Kerouacian, with all the traveling and discovery. Was, On the Road and influence at all for you when writing this story?

N: Strangely, I didn’t realize it was an influence, until I happened to reread, The Great Gatsby and thought about books that had a first-person narrator embedded in the narrative (which Poet’s does). On The Road is the same, although the narrator, Sal Paradise, has a much more significant role than Nick Carraway does in Gatsby. Now, the funny part about both those books, is they’re about relatively young people in flux, who have yet to commit their lives to anything substantial. (Sal Paradise is divorced, but feels young.) That’s what we want so often as an audience, the sexy years. Sexy times. I also think that because that’s what we want, not enough has been written about the unsexy years, the years when you run out of road and you’re changing diapers and the woman you love gets cancer. A lot of stuff that is written in that vein, tends to be on the comedic-side, in the sense that things come together in the end, Hollywood-style. I wanted to be more true to life’s inescapable tragedies, and the fact that, so often stuff just falls apart. I wanted to write something that maps that transition, from the wanderlust phase to the embattled phase, without dwelling so much on the latter, that it becomes unpalatable. Because it does become unpalatable. As much as the purists will tell you entertainment doesn’t matter, it does. One final note on this thread: I also balance the narrator/ subject dynamic to where it’s almost exactly 50/50. You get the narrator’s life, and the subject’s, and can compare for yourself, look for commonalities and divergences, etc. That’s the part that makes me the most proud. True to American adulthood, the friends live on different coasts and the friendship not only survives that geographic chasm, but matures into a lifelong bond and that, as they say, is the shit.

M: Your novel has some wonderful visual imagery, such as, “the dance floor swayed like a Hydra.”  When you’re writing, do you feel like you’re telling a story in terms of the images or vignettes that you imagine for these characters’ lives, or is it more dialogue driven?

N: I kind of addressed this above, with what I said about dialogue. I love dialogue, but I think it’s dangerous. I think it used to be less so, when the culture was less image driven, but now we are driven by images to such an extent, that if writing doesn’t show the ways in which it can add a significant dimension to the visual world, it risks becoming esoteric in the way philosophy and theological writing were esoteric to previous generations. (Looking back over this sentence, it reads as mildly ridiculous, but it’s actually something I think about a lot and believe there is some truth to, however much it sounds like horse puckey.) In short: yes, visual writing matters. The compressed, succinct image has never been more relevant. I feel the central conversation should be between the writer and the reader, not the characters. That’s my personal rule of thumb, and if I break it, it’s intentional. That’s not to say dialogue should only be minimal, but it has to be artfully integrated into the narrative stream. Which, incidentally, was my guiding mental image for this final edit: a clear stream running over rocks. Transparent, fluid.

M: Both the characters as young men, are anti-institutional and have a very definitive way at looking at life. As the characters get older, they are faced with marriage, children, illness and careers they would have previously had contempt for doing. Does that in anyway mirror your own life; have you had to take a job, you would have never thought of doing when you were younger?

N: Yes to all that. I’ve been at the same job for 13 years and prior to that, I’d never stayed 13 years anywhere, my entire life. I’m a restless man, and  I’m like 78% hermit. My job is okay, it pays the bills and allows me to care for my daughter. That’s all I can say about it really, though; I’m indifferent. I don’t have a career; I make books and music. That’s what I set out to do in my early twenties, and it has simply become my life, and will remain my life, regardless of whether I am able to cobble together some sort of artistic existence that allows me to work less for someone else and more for myself.

M: The characters do not come from very supportive families and they are determined to not make the same choices as their parents did. Do you feel like they had more empathy and understanding of their parents’ flaws, when faced with similar experiences?

N: Yes, that is certainly a storyline that develops in the book. It goes back to the idea of being a romantic. I’ve observed that people with a romantic temperament tend to come from unstable/unsupportive homes, and this causes them to embark on a somewhat desperate search for instant warmth, or perhaps a better word is electricity, a sense of positive connection with life, which many people get from family. If you don’t get that connection, it can result in a bit of mad quest for the basics. I think that’s in the book, on many levels, as is the way these emotional progressions, which are perceived to be completely individual and idiosyncratic by the romantic mind, are actually echoes within a larger family system. That’s a far less romantic way of seeing it, because autonomy is called into question, and autonomy–the ability the dream and create your life–is at the core of the romantic mind. More succinctly: it’s profoundly unsexy to repeat your parents’ mistakes.

M: Which books have you read, that really had a profound effect on you? Who are some of your favorite authors?

N: There are so many, that I’ll neglect to mention some of them. The first writer to really grab me and hit me over the head was Vonnegut, with Slaughterhouse-Five and Breakfast of Champions. Carson McCullers’, The Heart is A Lonely Hunter was massive for me, as were Samuel Beckett’s, Molloy and Bukowski’s, Women. Richard Brautigan was also a revelation. Watermelon Sugar and The Abortion are some favorites. A love of these books, eventually led me to other great books from that period, most importantly Gravity’s Rainbow and One Hundred Years of Solitude, which for me is one of the most complete novels ever written. There have been others with its scope, obviously, but few are as accessible or imaginative, or as playful and fun, while still tackling life’s seriousness.

M: Your next book is a thriller. What is the title and can you give a synopsis of the book?

N: It’s called, The Promethean Fallacy. It’s about this young guy, who discovers he has a twin. They were separated at birth and have been studied their entire lives, and the people behind it are bad news, corporate monsters basically. The main character finds out other children like him have been killed, and goes on a revenge mission to take out the head honcho. Along the way, he falls in love, which complicates things, and makes him reconsider, but by then of course it’s too late. His crimes catch up to him, and he has to pay the price. After doing Poet’s Memorial, which is more character driven, I needed to do something plot-driven, and I’m pleased with the results.

M: Tell everyone where they can find your amazing novel, Poet’s Memorial Hospital Fund.

You can find it on Amazon, at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XFGG584. The thriller is in the final editing stages and should be done by mid-July, so if anyone’s interested in that they can just DM me on Twitter (@distracted_monk) and I’ll send out a reminder when it hits the proverbial stands. Again, thanks so much.

 

Interview with Author Lance Burson

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Today I’m speaking with the ebullient Lance Burson, writer, comedian and author of The Ballad of Helene Troy.

M:  The Ballad of Helene Troy really captures the fast-paced lifestyle and the gritty and non-glamorous side of the music scene. It feels authentic; right down to the rock and roll jargon that’s used throughout the book. How do you know so much about it, were you a musician yourself?

L:  I’m a really bad guitar player and have been for 25 years. I was a DJ and managed a couple of early 1990’s alternative rock bands. I spent most of my 20’s around music scenes. And I’m a total music junkie and fanboi.

M:  You have a really striking cover and the girl in it is actually a picture of your eldest daughter. Where was the photograph taken?

L:  In the downtown of the local area where we live. It has this section that sort of looks like old school Brooklyn, pre hipsters. And yes, that’s my 20-year-old daughter who is in her junior year of college. She was in high school when we shot it.

M: One of the core themes is the clashing of the art form and the business aspects of music. What has been your experience with this and how do you reconcile the two?

L:  There is no reconciliation. Business always wins. I’ve known more incredible artists who are now soccer moms and dads than people who made it. Art is so subjective and only the weakest among us allow it to be bought and sold. Go to any local bar or music venue in your town and you’ll find people doing it for the love of it and nothing else who are more artistic than the people you hear on the radio or see on TV.

M:  The main character, Helene, is on the cusp of becoming a really great musician, but she’s struggling with loyalty to her band mates and her own career. What are some of the inner band relationships you’ve experienced and what are the typical troubles in a band?

L:  Helene is an amalgam of female and male musicians I’ve known in my life. Some succumbed to drugs, others became studio players, others got married and had babies, and others are still sweating it out in their 40’s in small clubs all over the place. Every band I was ever around, and I was around dozens, had one member that was just little better than everyone else. Their talent was more obvious. I was close friends with a female musician in college, she provided a lot of inspiration for Helene, and she was ten times better than her bandmates and she was ‘just’ the rhythm guitarist in the band. She later became a studio player and A&R rep for major labels.  Point is, talent doesn’t always make it or even matter as it should. In that way, Helene is a fairy tale (lol).

M:  Have you written any other novels?

L:  I’ve written four, but published two – The Ballad Of Helene Troy and Soul To Body – also about a musician, a dude one, who is struggling to raise his teen daughter after the death of his wife.

M:  What books or authors have most influenced you and do you have a favorite genre?

L:  Oh wow, what a question. I’m all over the place. I love the classic and get a lot of inspiration from the Lost Generation of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Miller, etc. I just reread Mary Shelley’s, Frankenstein and Alex Haley’s, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, those two books influenced me so much. I’m a huge fan of Chuck Palahniuk even though he’s not the feminist I am. Fight Club changed my life.

M: Fight Club changed my life too. I feel like Bob gave us permission to cry and he died for all our sins. I shout, ‘his name is Robert Paulson’ every time I’m in the grocery store as tribute.

M:  You have a blog called, My Blog Can Beat up Your Blog and it’s true, your blog has beaten up my blog numerous times and stolen its lunch money. Is there any central theme, or do you just like to talk about things that interest you?

L:  It used to be a writer-centric space where I wrote a lot of episodic fiction. Helene and Soul To Body were both serialized there. These days, it’s all deep, well-meaning, empathetic personal essays about my life now as a stand up comedian and father of 3 girls, aged 12, 13 and 20. Once the election is over and I can type without hitting the keyboard with my fists, I’ll get back to just writing fiction and non-fiction essays.

M: You also do stand up comedy. When did you start and how did you ever work up the nerve to go on stage?

L:  I did for a little under 3 years in the 1990’s, 93-96. I wasn’t very good because I didn’t have a lot of life experience to draw from. In early 2015, I went back to it on a lark, just to see if I could do it. I’m coming up in two years and I’m getting paid every once in a while, getting out of the house 3-5 times a week and even getting my name is lights. I’ve never been nervous to do it. Writing books is lot more nerve wracking.

M:  Do you have any favorite sets that stand out as being really great? Did you ever completely bomb?

L:  I bomb a lot. But I also do well sometimes. I recently headlined a club and did a feature spot in a theatre. My best experience has come from a large venue that holds a couple of hundred people and I had great sets both times there. I’ve participated in comedy contests as well and have done pretty good. I’m still learning and honing the craft.

M:  Do you have certain things you focus on in your material like politics, romance, etc, or you do you have a more versatile style?

L:  I try to be versatile but my ‘best stuff’ is about my family – living with a wife and three daughters. I mix in a little politics and pop culture. I’m writing new stuff now.

M:  Who are some of your favorite comedians?

L:  Oh wow, another doozy of a question. George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Richard Lewis, Marc Maron, Patton Oswalt, Janeane Garafalo, Sarah Silverman, Louis CK, Maria Bamford (genius) and many others.

M:  Oh wow, although Bill Hicks and George Carlin were not atheists per se, they both are the first comedians I remember to criticize organized religion.

M:  I like to know where people stand on the important issues. What is your opinion of people who don’t use fabric softener?

L:  Lazy degenerates and I am one.

M:  Tell the kleptomaniacs and the mildly bloated where they can find you and your books on the internet.

L:  I am available on amazon for kindle https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=lance+burson and Lulu.com in paperback https://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?keyWords=lance+burson&type

They make lovely holiday gifts.

Interview with Tony @bornmiserable

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Today I’m speaking with Tony, who is known as the very funny @bornmiserable on Twitter. Tony is a musician, artist, Sylvia Plath enthusiast, member of the band Stryper, foot model, cheese connoisseur and a bad ass defender of social justice.

M: Everyone I talk to loves you. What’s it like being adored by the world?

T:  Ha! I don’t know – you’d have to ask Boo the dog about that.

M: I did ask Boo and he said to stop making eye contact with him.

M: Where are you located on the planet?

T:  I’m scattered around Los Angeles.

M: By day, you’re a mild-mannered artist, but by night, you’re a superhero known as @bornmiserable on the Twitter. Were you really miserable from day 1?

T:  Likely, although photographic evidence that I dug up from my backyard seems to prove otherwise here and there. I do feel like I was meant to be miserable…so I suppose I’ve been sorted out.

M:  I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who keeps their photo albums in the back yard.

M: You are a wonderful musician and you have a YouTube page called The Blackout Choir, in which you cover a variety of different artists on your acoustic guitar. What is your musical background and what musicians had the most influence on you?

T:  After I received my first electric guitar, I took guitar lessons briefly in middle school, which barely resulted in me knowing one scale and a few chords. Aside from one other beginner class I took later in college, I taught myself everything else. My influences are too many to mention – musicians from Sam Cooke, the Supremes, and the Left Banke to James, Morrissey, and the Durutti Column influenced me the most. I align with music that means something lyrically or strikes an emotional response instrumentally.

M: Have you ever had the chance to meet or even work with an artist you’ve admired?

T:  I have had the opportunity to meet one of my most favorite artists – Andy Prieboy, who was in Wall of Voodoo and also wrote Tomorrow Wendy, which Concrete Blonde covered and whose version is more familiar to people. He was gracious enough to listen to some covers I did of his songs and has a caricature drawing I did of him propped up in his studio. I’ve also supplied backup vocals to a song of his as well.

M: Do you play with any bands, or are you strictly a solo artist?

T:  For the majority of what I do, I tend to work alone – I’ve done collaborations in the past with my friends, where I sing on something or have them sing backup vocals and/or play an instrument for me. For example, I recorded vocals for my best friend Dawn’s cover of Radiohead’s Street Spirit (Fade Out):

She’s also done some amazing piano work for me and recently put out a song on SoundCloud called Insomnia, which I invite everyone to listen to and follow her:

M: I listened to your Smith/Morrissey cover songs. They filled me full of teenage angst and I had to go brood in my room. I imagine if he heard them he would say, “That sounds nothing like me, not even Morrissey sounds like Morrisey,” and then he’d go do some yoga. Do you ever have any outbursts like Morrissey?

T:  I think I do – I wake up in the morning and I’m immediately annoyed that I woke up! I do find myself exorcising my outbursts in my writing, whether it’s tweets or perhaps lyrics.

M: I love your cover of American Music by the Violent Femmes; it’s my favorite. Have you ever covered any Depeche Mode or Talking Heads songs?

T:  No Talking Heads yet, but I have covered Depeche Mode’s Judas, which seems to be relatively up my alley both musically and thematically.

M: Do you strictly play acoustic guitar? Have you ever been tempted to pick up an electric guitar, put on a bandana and play Sweet Child of Mine?

T:  Hahaha, no bandanas for me. I’m a simple man – I play acoustic guitar, electric guitar, six string bass and regular bass guitar. I’ve dabbled in some keyboards, but mostly to complement my guitars in my instrumental work and original songs.

M: In addition to being a musician, you are also a very fine artist. Do you sell any of your work, or is it just something you like to do in your spare time?

T:  I don’t sell any of my work, except for the random design that goes up on RedBubble. I just draw at random, whenever I feel like I’d rather not sing or play music or cause my next door neighbors to wish death upon me. Drawing tweets has been a good way of inspiring me in a different way, by hopefully taking someone’s funny tweet and taking it a step further visually.

M: I’m a big fan of your tweets and I know you hate to get political, but what do you think of our current state of politics and do you think Donald Trump will really make extinction level event great again?

T:  I never thought I would ever write political tweets but I’m afraid it was inevitable, much like the downfall of MC Hammer pants. I think the current state of politics is simply what happens when you let everyone into MENSA – the idiots believe they’re just as smart as the people who are actually qualified to be there. As far as Donald Trump is concerned, his campaign is entirely based on what I like to call the John Edward of politics – he doesn’t have a gift for anything but grasping at straws of fear that his supporters already brought to their Cracker barrel potluck. We don’t’ need ISIS to destroy us – we already have the help of Donald Trump’s supporters to accomplish that.

M: [Takes off MC Hammer pants] Would you be willing to draw me as a unicorn impaling Donald Trump with my horn?

T:  That would be fantastic, although I feel that’s too noble of a death for someone like him.

https://twitter.com/bornmiserable/status/752553138662486016

M: Tell the juvenile delinquents and the morbidly obese where they can find you on the interwebs.

T:  People who apparently have an interest in the exceptionally mundane can find me on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/bornmiserable or if they wish to punish their eyes and their ears, they can find me on YouTube at: www.youtube.com/TheBlackoutChoir

Interview with author G.M. Lupo

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Today, I’m speaking with the illustrious and accomplished author of Freedom & Consequence, The Cheese Toast Project, A Tale of Two Sisters, Crazy Like the Foxes and The Long-Timers.

M: Were the stories written for, Freedom & Consequence written all at once, with the idea of making a book, or were they written at various different times in your life?

G: These stories were written over the past 20-30 years, starting around the time I was in college. The oldest story in the collection, “Suzi Thunder,” was written while I was an undergrad at Georgia State University around 1985 and appeared in the GSU Review, Georgia State’s literary magazine that year. The more recent stories, set mostly in Atlanta were written over the past two or three years and published first on my blog. The versions here are edited and expanded from what was on my blog. “A Bad Day’s Work,” “Titania,” “Metempsychosis,” “Route 412 to Tulsa,” “Shocks to the System” and “Suzi Thunder” appeared in a limited edition Kindle version called Tales of the New Wave, which I created to learn how to format books for Kindle.

Some of the ideas I’ve carried around in my head for quite some time. I thought up the basic plot for “A Debt to Pay,” about a man who cripples a woman in a car crash and comes back to redeem himself after he’s released from jail, when I was in college as part of a series of stories I wanted to write about a fictitious town, but never put on paper.

M: The stories have a rhythm, much like Shirley Jackson’s stories, with a great sense of foreboding. Who are some of your favorite short story authors?

G: Two of my favorites are J. D. Salinger and Flannery O’Connor. O’Connor’s work also has a sense of foreboding to it, which I enjoy. I also enjoy Kurt Vonnegut’s short fiction and novels. Vonnegut is probably my favorite writer.

M:  Kurt is one of my favorites as well. I have a t-shirt with, Schlachthof fünf written on it. Do you prefer writing short stories over novels?

G: I like being able to churn out a story quickly, which is possible with a short story as opposed to a novel, but I also like the ability to explore characters and situations in more detail that’s afforded by a novel. I also write plays and that employs a totally different method of storytelling, since one is trying to convey an idea for someone else to translate, namely a director and actors. I don’t have a preference and have recently used a story, “Rachel,” which appears in the book, to convey information introduced in a play I wrote, but which didn’t fit in the play. I’m exploring that for other characters and stories in works I have in progress. I’ve recently been writing a lot of micro-fiction, in which I’ll think of a story, write it up and post it on my blog within a few days. Most of the stories on my blog are early drafts, and subject to change a lot before they’re formally published.

Much of my work has been set in a sort of fictional Atlanta and revolves around an ever expanding pool of characters. I created a fictional company, Bickering Plummet, where many of my characters work, and it’s the setting for “The Miracle of the Magic Dollar,” as well as an introductory story in the book.

M:  One of my favorite stories is, “Klan Candy.” As soon as you see the title, you have to read it, because you have to find out what that is. In essence, it’s a bag of candy handed out from the Klan to solicit membership. Where did you get the idea for, “Klan Candy?”

G:  Klan Candy was ‘ripped from the headlines’ so to speak. I saw a report on the Klan somewhere in the Carolinas, sending out candy to entice new members and thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. Growing up around Atlanta, I heard all sorts of stories about the Klan and how fearsome they were, so hearing that they were soliciting new members by sending out candy was pretty hilarious. The only thing I’ve read about them that was more absurd, was a story that a Klan leader somewhere up north joined the NAACP in some attempt to show solidarity or some such reason. Another story in the book, “The Miracle of the Magic Dollar” was also based on an actual experience that happened at work, though embellished for humorous effect.

M:  The first story in Freedom and Consequence is “A Bad Days Work.” The character is essentially an anti Bartleby from Bartleby, the Scrivener, because rather than refusing to leave the job; that’s all he thinks about. The story is about a young man who feels he’s in a boring, dead end job. Did you have a job or series of jobs like that?

G: Jason from, “A Bad Day’s Work,” is loosely based on me from around age nineteen or twenty, though I didn’t go away to school as an undergraduate and didn’t stop once I started. I did defer going to college right out of high school and I did work in an office similar to the one in the story, though not with that particular cast of characters. The office in, “A Bad Day’s Work” probably resembles the Savannah office of the company where I worked, since they did imports and exports, and my office dealt mostly with imports, but the circumstances of Jason’s employment there do mirror mine. The manager, Mr. Bugg, is taken from another manager I had at a job in college, though.

“A Bad Day’s Work” was one of the ones I wrote in college in the 80s and it’s been through several revisions. In an early draft, Jason beat up his manager and ran off, taking refuge on top of a building that’s about to be demolished. It took on its current form sometime in the 90s.

M:  You’ve lived in both the northeast as well as the southeast, as have I and some of your stories are set in the north and some are set in the south. Where do you prefer living and what do you like or dislike about either region.

G:  Atlanta’s my hometown, so I know it better than anyplace else. I liked living in New York in the late-80s to early-90s, but it’s a very unforgiving city and I got into a lot of debt. Also, at the time I was living there, just before Giuliani was elected mayor, the job market was horrible and I was hardly making enough to live on, given how expensive it is to live there.

I don’t like the pollen or the traffic in Atlanta, but I enjoy the theater and music scenes here, plus there’s a lot of activity with the film industry. What I enjoyed most about New York, is the fact that I didn’t own a car the entire time I lived there and didn’t miss it. Also, I got more exercise and didn’t have as much problem with my allergies. If I could find another place like that somewhere else, I’d consider moving there.

M:  I lived in New York as well for four years and I agree, it eats up your money. Which story was your favorite to write?

G: The one I most enjoyed writing was, “Dead Man’s Hat,” which was inspired by the spoken word piece, “Small Change” by Tom Waits, from the album of the same name. I liked capturing the tone of the original piece and creating something totally new from it. I doubt the original is set in Atlanta in the 60s, but that’s where I chose to set my story. I used it in a reading a year or so ago and people familiar with my work said it didn’t sound like my typical style.

M:  “Shocks to the System” is another great story that is reminiscent of Edgar Allan Poe. The thought of killing an annoying roommate or coworker has probably flickered in everyone’s mind, but your character actually carries out the deed. You mentioned to me in conversation you had a very annoying roommate. What creative ways did you come up with in your fantasy to dispatch him?

G: I wrote Shocks to the System after we had stopped being roommates, sort of as revenge after the fact. At around the same time, I was on an Internet news group called, alt.flame.roommate, where I also complained about him as my “idiot ex-roommate” and that may have influenced me to write the story more than the actual experience, since my solution to every bad roommate situation on that group, was to kill the roommate. I never really entertained actual thoughts of homicide while we were residing together, though he was very annoying and anal retentive about how things around the apartment needed to be done. It’s another that’s partially based on actual events from my life, though in real life, I just moved out, rather than doing him any harm. My rash decision to move out and into a more expensive apartment was the main cause of my later financial difficulties while in NYC.

M: What writers/books have most influenced you?

G: A recent work I found very intriguing was, Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, which is about teen suicide. It features a character trying to piece together the story of why a fellow student killed herself using only clues she left behind. I’m very much interested in the masks people put on to deal with others, and how one person can assume many characters in public without ever revealing his or her true self. It’s the main reason I like seeing actors in different roles on stage.

My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut and I’ve probably read everything he’s written, novels, essays, short stories and his one play. I like how he uses the conventions of science fiction to tell his stories. Other writers who’ve influenced me are Hemingway and Salinger. I also like Joseph Heller, and most of Thomas Pynchon’s work.

The first book I remember really loving was, Mystery of the Haunted Pool by Phyllis Whitney and I read it at least once a year when I was in elementary school. I have a copy of it now that I found at a used book store, but haven’t read it lately.

Early in my writing career, I was heavily influenced by the poet Rod McKuen, and I’ve written an essay that’s on my blog an in my compilation of essays called, The Cheese Toast Project, about the impact of reading his work, “Listen to the Warm” when I was in high school. He taught me that writing doesn’t have to follow a specified format and can be whatever the author wants it to be.

I’m also inspired by art and music. On my birthday this year, I went to the High Museum in Atlanta, to see the Basquiat exhibit and came away with an idea for a character. I like to go to the High when there’s no one there, so I can take my time to peruse the works. When there aren’t a lot of people there, it’s very quiet and one can hear what’s going on in other parts of the building. For instance, when I was there in April, there was an exhibit that featured a performance by Nina Simone looped over and over, which I could hear everywhere I went on the floor and provided an eerie backdrop to the experience. Also, there was a choir downstairs, which I heard when I went across the bridge to another wing, so I ended up going down and watching them perform.

I’m also inspired being out in nature. I find when I go for long walks at Stone Mountain I often come up with lots of ideas. I once invented an entire backstory for a character during one morning walk on the trails at the mountain.

My brain is sort of like a pinball machine and when an idea gets up there and makes a connection, it’s like all sort of bells and lights are going off at once. Sometimes, it’s hard to write it all down quickly enough. Having my phone with me is a huge help, since it affords me the opportunity to write things down when they come to me in some remote location or while I’m at work.

M: Tell everyone where they can find you online and where to get your books.

G: The one-stop shop for all my online endeavors is lupo.com. It’s been my presence on the web since 1995 and has links to my accounts at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, WordPress, YouTube and my author page at Amazon.

Interview with author Gary Duffey

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Today, I’m talking with the perspicacious Gary Duffey, author of the thriller, Territory.

M:  When reading, Territory, My Antonia by Willa Cather came to mind, which also depicts the frontier of Nebraska during the 1800’s. Is there anything you read in particular that sparked the idea for writing Territory?

G:  I’ll have to read, My Antonia…. It better not be mushy!

M:  I seem to recall a part, where a guy is driving a wedding party on a sledge. In order to speed up to get away, he throws both the bride and the groom off and they get eaten by wolves. So yes, it is a love story.

G:  Territory, or more so, the boy, came about from my time as a security guard at an abandon hospital. I was 18 years old at that time, so it was actually 18 years ago. I’m not going to say ghosts are real and I am not saying the boy is a ghost, but what I will say is, many an odd thing would happen at this hospital. No one but me was on the hospital grounds and in the building. It’s very unique to spend 8 hours a day in a full size hospital, with no one but yourself about.  This particular hospital known as, Memorial South, in Ceres California, was vacant for a long time before I arrived there.  A new hospital was built where I live in the connecting city of Modesto and Memorial South was left to decay. It was guarded, when a group of investors bought, Memorial South to use it as storage for medical paper work. Every hospital room that was rented (and there weren’t many), had pad locks on them and some rooms had pad locks on them for different reasons, such as blood spatter on carpets and walls, from what I could only assume was from a murder as the building sat vacant. The hospital was 3 stories, if you included the basement; the hospital in its entirety was or is in the shape of a cross. In this cross, only one of the 4 cross pieces had power and that was only on the lower level, this is where our guard office was, but really was the old gift shop. Now, as to the weirdness, no matter the time of day or night, I as a guard was to walk the perimeter of the hospital to look for illegal entry.  I never found that, but what I did find, were curtains closed that were open, or open when earlier they were closed. There was an elevator that shouldn’t have been functioning, that would come up from the basement, opening with a ding at my floor. I remember walking to it and looking at the service sticker, to see it being last serviced in 1973 and at the time it was 1999. Anyway, as I was looking at it, the emergency phone started ringing, so I reached in after what seemed a long time, picked it up and asked “Hello?” It sounded like hundreds of voices talking over one another. I couldn’t make anything out of what they were saying. I put the phone back on the receiver and as soon as I did, the elevator went, ding and the door closed, but as it did, the interior lights shut off. The elevator went back down to the basement, only to rise again months later. I could go on and on about this place, but what gave me the idea for the boy, came one night, I was walking past the maternity ward (an additional smaller building also shaped as a cross); it was raining, I for whatever reason, looked at the front double doors as lightning flashed; it filled the rooms with light and what I saw looking back at me, was a man in a jean jacket. I acted like I did not see him. This event, along with all the other weirdness, melded together a story in my mind, of a group of misfit army cadets, being unknowingly experimented upon, as they refit an abandon hospital into a barracks for military use. This story never made it to print, but elements from it did make it into Territory. I will not say what, as it might be boring for readers. The bad guy in that story was a man who was an escaped mental patient and he set up a place to live in the hospital long before our army cadets got there. This man known to those who knew him was called, “Manic Mason or to you and I, as the man I saw in the jean jacket in the maternity ward. Mason had unique superhuman gifts, and was as old as the world.  Territory is a collection of ideas that over time, amassed into what it is today. Why Nebraska? Why 1867? Well, in the second Manic Mason story (again never made it to print), we find Sarah on her front porch drinking from a dinted tin cup and a supernatural human by the name of Manic Mason has set up residence in her barn. He plans to kill her and her family. Why? Well, that is exactly why I wrote Territory; it was a cool concept, but didn’t make any damn sense! No spoilers were just given; the boy is not a supernatural human who has lived from the beginning of the world. He is something altogether different…. To explain why 1867, this is because many historical things were happening in Nebraska at this point in time, some of which are found in Territory and others found in Texas that spilled into the book.

M:  How terrifying it must have been to see some dude in a jean jacket. I mean, who wears those anymore.

M:  Your characters are all unique, some are acting out of desperation, revenge, atonement and just plain greed. Which character did you find most interesting to write about?

G:  I enjoyed writing about Jacob. My favorite part was when he was in the barn with Sara’s daughters. I think we see a master manipulator at work. The reader really sees his pure manic evil, after he sends the girls into the house, leaving him to work on a spike. I also enjoyed, Barbra.

M:  Centered in your fictional story is something nonfictional, and that is the scalping industry. Most people think it was the Native American warriors, who had a penchant for scalping settlers and soldiers, but in reality, it was Europeans who carried it out much more and then later Americans, so much so that scalping became an industry. Can you elaborate a little on that industry and why you chose to incorporate it into the story?

G:  I really didn’t, and still don’t know much about it. This being a fictional story, I found it to be an opportunity to use it to provide more depth to Barbra, and to provide a little foreshadowing for the next book. The blanket was an afterthought.

M: Okay, I’ll enlighten them. HaHa! In the 1800’s, Mexico and several other surrounding states, paid private armies and bounty hunters to scalp Native Americans. They saw it as a good way to protect their citizens. I believe it continued for many years before it was finally outlawed.

M:  You did an amazing job of blurring the lines of sanity, insanity, dream and lucidity. It felt like a dream sequence at times, especially when the Native American boy was at the river. Did you set out writing with that in mind, or is that just something that developed?

G:  I set out with that in mind and as the story progresses we will see why. *zips lips*

M:  Was the Native American boy a symbol of justice to address the wrongs of an entire culture?

G:  I could see how one might see this, in this first book; the boy is used as a weapon of revenge. What we will find in the next book, will twist this notion. We will also learn what the boy is and where he came from.

M:   How many more books do you plan to write in the Territory series?

G:  The upcoming one and possibly a prequel revolving around Jacob in his youth, following him until he finds, Mindy… maybe further. If there will be a third Territory book remains to be seen. I won’t leave out the possibility, but I’ll know more when I finish the second book.

M:  How much time each day do you set aside to write?

G:  Less than I would like to. When I set aside all other projects I’m working on, my goal becomes 2,000 words a day. On a day when I’m tired, I hit around 500-1,000. Sometimes I find it’s good to stop for a week and then out of nowhere, my mind fits a few plot pieces together, that I don’t feel I would have come up with if I just kept writing. For instance, in my new book, Home (working title), Sheriff Sean Laing, is at a grocery store during a small storm at night. That’s where I left off. I pick up after a week, with the power shutting off and leaving the store in darkness. This darkness brings us to the home of, Polly, the main character in the story. Here we find her discovering a boy with Down syndrome watching her and her daughter from an outside window. I would not have connected these story points, without time away and the boy (whom isn’t a new character to the book) will be much more potent to the plot.

M:  What books/authors have most influenced you in your life?

G:  Hugh Howey, this person is an independent writer who has made a large success in his, WOOL trilogy. If you haven’t read, WOOL, I highly recommend it to anyone who likes an apocalyptic world, mixed with a mystery and dialog that’s believable.  My second would be, Stephen King. Many nights at my job, I listen to audio books written by him. His writing flows very well; I only wish he would get his mind out of the gutter. My favorite book by him is, Misery. Not much swearing and zero perversion, it’s a very well-crafted thriller.

M:  What are you currently reading? What is your favorite genre?

G:  Currently I’m listening to, Fall of the Governor: Book two. It’s a story in the world of The Walking Dead, but it follows the Governor. He’s not the man we think he is at all. … Now, to be clear, I’m a fan of swearing when the moment calls for it, but unfortunately in The Walking Dead novels, the swear words are sprinkled about randomly like sprinkles on a cupcake.  My favorite genre would be, thrillers, something with a great plot and dialog.

M:  Tell everyone where they can go to learn more about you & your thrilling novel, Territory:

You can find, Territory on Amazon at the link below and on Kindle found by the same link in the “See all formats and editions” category.

AND coming soon around 5/20/2016, Territory will be on Audible.

http://www.amazon.com/Territory-Book-Gary-Duffey-Jr/dp/1523219602

My Interview with Beth Argyropoulos or as I like to call her Beth Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!

 

If you liked the special guest interview I did with Beth Argyropoulos on the very fabulous, Hall of Tweets: Beyond the Bio with @KateWhineHall http://halloftweets.com/2016/01/beyond-the-bio-interview-with-gobmentcheese/ then you will enjoy this never seen before director’s cut.

K: Your name?

M: Marietta Rodgers is my pen name; my real name is Melissa. Very few people know that fact; I figured I would start small and tell the whole internet.

K: Where do you live?

M: The United States of ‘Murica in Greensboro, NC (historic civil rights sit-in, home of O’Henry, Orson Scott Card & Glamour Shots probably)

K: When did you start tweeting?

M: A few years ago, I needed an internet presence to help promote my first book, The Bill.

K: How many followers do you have?

M: I have close to 7k currently.

K: What year did you graduate high school?

M: I graduated at the height of the flannel shirt epidemic.

K: What do you do when you’re not on Twitter? (career/hobbies)

M: I have two degrees, they are in Accounting and Business and like all people with two degrees; I barely even use one of them. I work in an office and rearrange the Treasure Trolls on my desk all day. You can see where the writing and comedy would come naturally with a background like that. My main hobby is eating cheese, but sometimes I like to spend time with my kids, when it doesn’t interfere with my cheese thing, because they are pretty cool. I read extensively; I’m all over the map as far as genres go, but I love satire and absurdist/existentialism. I like Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Samuel Beckett, Jean-Paul Sartre, Joseph Heller, Anthony Burgess, Tom Stoppard and Martin McDonagh, just to name a few. I also like atheist authors Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Gore Vidal and Salman Rushdie. I’m working on my third novel, which is currently untitled.

B: Can you tell us what your Twitter handle means?

M: I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. I’m extremely political and I wanted to combine politics with cheese somehow and I think I very subtly accomplished that. The antisocialsocialist is just because I like people, I just don’t want them anywhere near me.

B: Your 1980s tweets are incredible. Thank you for that. I often put on leg warmers and play my Casio keyboard guitar circa 1987 to score your awesomeness. Tell me, what do you miss about the 80s?

M: Thank you; I’m usually wearing my parachute pants, cheap plastic accessories and singing Mr. Roboto, while I type them. I miss the fun and the corniness of that era; it was definitely a decade that didn’t take itself too seriously. I mean John Carpenter movies and movies like Highlander and Flash Gordon are just like lightening in a bottle; you can’t make those movies today and have the same effect. Jack Burton and Snake Plissken are like comic book characters; they’re larger than life. I think anyone who was a kid during that time, would agree, that there are endless 80’s jokes to be made. I’ve forced my kids to watch and listen to 80’s movies and music, like any good parent, and they think it’s the best/worst thing ever. My kids are cool; they get the irony.

B: Your blog, mariettarodgers.wordpress.com, is unlike most I’ve seen in that it seems to be an ongoing story. Can you tell me more about that?

M: I’m writing a story with a long time friend of mine, Bryan Robertson (@Chyld). He and I met during the complaint rock years. I was dating a friend of his and he was dating a friend of mine; we’ve remained friends through the years. It’s just mainly us doing what we have always done, which is to laugh at our own jokes and be nonsensical. We are the Andy Kaufman and Bob Zmuda of the internet. I also conduct interviews to help support my friend’s endeavors. I plan on writing some funny essays as well, but I have to put that on the back burner to write my third novel and goof off on Twitter, because priorities.

B: I can’t wait to read a funny essay by you, lady. As you know, I’m new to the whole blog thing. There seems to be this incredibly snarky attitude when you tell someone you have a blog. Probably why I’ve avoided it for so long. I’m a wuss. I feel that a blog to a writer is the same thing as playing gigs in small bars to an up and coming band, or an artist having a small show at a lesser known gallery. I’m not sure why there is so much sneering towards a person trying to find their voice as a writer in a form of a blog? What are your thoughts?

M: That’s a great analogy. People often look at blogs like it’s a Twisted Sister cover band. I think there is a snarky attitude to blogs, podcasts, etc., mainly because there are so many of them out there, but it helps get your work noticed and that’s the primary goal. I think it’s all just a matter of finding your target audience.

B: Great Points. And it’s funny you mention “Twisted Sister Cover Band” because in 2016 my blog will be solely about bands who play Twisted Sister. Tell me, what 1980s band would you want to be a member of and why?

M: The Fat Boys rap group, because I meet both their criteria and Stryper for obvious reasons.

B: Darling, you’re thin and fabulous. Pah-leese! OK, Your latest book, Looney Bin Incorporated, is brilliant, and to me, seems to be almost be in the great tradition of southern Gothic mixed with, say, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” What was your primary inspiration for writing this book?

M: Thank you; it was a lot of fun to write and a lot more light-hearted humor than my first novel, The Bill. I primarily wrote it as a jab to big business and how they control everything from the news to the government. The story is an amalgam of a couple of different jobs I had right out of college. I actually wrote a play about it originally and submitted it in a BBC contest (no, I didn’t win).

B: Are any of the characters in your books based on people you know?

M: Yes, I worked for a nonprofit when I lived in New York, which provided services for chronically, mentally ill clients. There were some schizophrenic clients, who would come in, and one time I was in the office alone with a woman, who was having a conversation with herself and laughing. Those were some good times.

B: I worked in nonprofit too, in Atlanta. I worked in the fundraising end though- typically with CEOs, so, I also worked with the mentally insane. Ha! So, ultimately, do you hope that your books are able to reach people and perhaps wake them up a bit politically/socially?

M: Well, politically, I think whether you are a Republican or Democrat, you need to wake up and smell the filibuster, because your government is no longer working for you. Obstructionism has been the trend for quite a while now. I want to push people and get them to think beyond sound bites from the news. I also think corporations have a moral obligation to pay their employees a living wage. You can’t cut social programs and not raise the minimum wage; you have to take a more humanistic point of view.

B: I absolutely agree. I’ll never understand the inability of Americans to grasp this very basic idea. I think it’s a lack of correct information, for starters. So, was your family political growing up, and if so, are they liberal as you are?

M: I didn’t have any parents; I was raised by a pack of wolves with an excellent cable package. Yes, my parents are political; they are both Democrats and they’ve voted in every election, since they were old enough to vote. I’m not kidding, everything from President to the Senate, all the way down to the municipal elections. I would say they are moderate Democrats, as opposed to the atheist, commie-pinko monster that they raised.

B: Me too. My parents were Kennedy Catholics and I went off the deep end into the lefty-left-left . Perhaps it’s the next phase in political evolution. I’m definitely a non-conformist, in any case. That’s one of the things that drew me to your account- it’s original and so bloody clever! Important question: do you identify more with the punk or the hippie movement? And if you relate to the hippies, would you be willing to take a shower?

M: It would definitely be with the punk movement, hippies are lame. I still wouldn’t be willing to take a shower though.

B: I knew you were a punk, sister. I just wanted you to have a shower. We’ve received complaints. You and I are both HUGE Kids in the Hall fans. To me, they revolutionized sketch comedy in the 90s. I thought of them as what punk rock is to mainstream music. What comedy do you think is cutting edge right now?

M: Yes, I am a huge KITH fan. I saw them over the summer in Durham, NC; they were amazing. I’m not sure about cutting edge, but I think there are a lot of smart comedies out there right now like Portlandia; that show does a great job of capturing liberal excess. I love their, “Women and Women Bookstore” sketches. Veep is good, because I imagine a lot of that stuff goes on behind the scenes in Washington. I also like Bob’s Burgers, because I can relate a lot to the character Gene. I enjoy shows with pop culture references in them, it’s low brow humor, but I like the 80’s/90’s references. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The Eric Andre Show are shows like that. The Eric Andre Show gets great guests like the Iron Sheikh, Lou Ferrigno, Dolph Lundgren and one time Henry Rollins came out and did nothing but yell about frozen yogurt; I nearly collapsed.

B: Great picks. Which Kids in the Hall did you relate to most? And if you didn’t- why are you lying to me?

M: I think it would be Kevin McDonald, because he is often overlooked when people talk about The Kids in the Hall, although; I think he had some brilliant sketches. I’ve sometimes felt overlooked in my life, especially when being picked for dodge ball.

B: Do you ever panic that you’ll never come up with another funny thing to say again?

M: Yes, eventually my tweets will peak and I’ll be like a comedy cliché, where people will say, “she’s okay, but I liked her earlier work better.”

B: Rick Astley: Great singer or greatest singer?

M: He is the biggest thing to come out of England since Churchill and the Beatles.

B: That was a trick question. The correct answer was: “Who is Rick Astley?” But…back to serious things…Twitter. What about Twitter horror stories? Stalkers, @ers, trolls? Had any of those?

M: The only person who stalks me is @bourgeoisalien and I’m filing a restraining order against her, right after I throw her a surprise birthday party. I’ve had people make rude or lewd (and other things that rhyme with rude) @’s and DM’s, but for the most part, everyone has been really cool to me. I absolutely hate it though, when someone makes a serious comment to a satirical tweet. If you have to explain your jokes, then they aren’t funny anymore. I started out making jokes on Facebook, but it takes a billion dollar idea like that, to make us all realize that our families don’t have a sense of humor. My family thinks I invented sarcasm.

B: Whoa, I’ve heard about @bourgeoisalien. All I’m saying is, if she shows up at your house with a boom box over her head, don’t make eye contact…but also offer her cake. She likes cake. Alright, funny lady- who are some comedians (or comedy shows/sitcoms) who have influenced you?

M: I think Richard Pryor was raw, brutally honest, told the best stories and formulated the best characters. The same can be said for Eddie Murphy. I also liked Steven Wright, George Carlin, Dana Carvey and Janeane Garofalo. I watched comedy shows like The Kids in the Hall, MS3K, The Critic, Dr. Katz, SNL, In Living Color, The Tick and The Daily Show when Craig Kilborn was host. My favorite contemporary comedians would be Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, John Mulaney, Demetri Martin, Lewis Black, Sarah Silverman, John Oliver, Doug Benson, Gary Gulman and one of my very favorites, Eddie Izzard. I’ve seen him perform twice and I met him in New York. He is just as bouncy and bubbly off stage as he is on; he also wears the best shades of lipstick. If you’ve never seen his, “Star Wars Cantina” bit, you should definitely check it out. I’ve saved the best for last, which of course is Robin Williams. I don’t think there has ever been a better comedian at doing improv ever. His death was such a great loss to comedy and humanity.

B: Oh wow, yes…I remember when Robin Williams died. I was actually talking with a dear friend on twitter and I told him I couldn’t tweet for a while. I was so sad to hear of his death. He was a beautiful soul. Dead Poet’s Society was a brilliant film; I think I’ll always think of him as some sort of mentor. Let’s talk books, what’s your favorite book of all time?

M: That is so hard, because I’ve read so many great books, but I guess I would say it’s Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.

B: And what’s your favorite movie of all time?

M: This is the Sophie’s Choice of questions for me. I will give you my top five favorite directors instead, since it would be impossible for me to name one movie. My favorites are: Stanley Kubrick, Coen brothers, Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino and John Carpenter.

B: You and I are so in sync with our film choices. I want to crawl inside a Coen brother’s movie and live there. What advice do you have for someone who’s trying to get better at joke writing on Twitter?

M: Try your jokes out on unsuspecting strangers first and if they don’t call the cops or start crying, then tweet it.

B: Tell us something about yourself people on Twitter may not know.

M: I have a black belt in karate; I practiced karate and taekwondo for six years and some Jeet Kune Do. I watched a ton of Kung Fu Theater growing up and movies like Enter the Dragon, Fist of Fury and embarrassingly Gymkata and Revenge of the Ninja. I competed in the North Carolina state games several years in a row and won some gold medals. (They are not real gold; please don’t rob me) So yeah, I like to solve all my problems with my fists. Now though, I express all my rage by pointing to various Pokemon cards. My crowning achievement in life, which is sad, was getting The Legend of Kage high score, circa 1989, in the Nintendo Power Magazine, because the publication circulated in the U.S as well as Canada. I shoved it in all my friends’ faces at school like it was a degree from Harvard, while wearing my Nintendo power glove. What can I say; I know how to wield a shuriken like nobody’s business.

B: Name five tweeters (or less) whose tweets consistently make you laugh.

M: Oh my, there are so many deserving accounts. I hope I don’t offend anyone by leaving them out, but in no particular order they are: @bourgeoisalien, @ObscureGent, @Swoldemort, @TheCatWhisprer and @Chyld.

B: Since you asked me, I MUST ask you (thanks James Lipton): When you meet God- what will he say to you?

M: I thought I told you to kill James Lipton.

Be sure and check out the books, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets and The Hall of Tweets: embracing the #twitter addictionhttp://halloftweets.com/category/beyond-the-bio/

Read Beth’s blog at https://t.co/vd2FaW2382 and follow her on Twitter @bourgeoisalien

Interview with Taffy Bennington

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Today I’m talking with the hilarious Taffy Bennington. She makes quirky sing-along YouTube videos that the whole family can enjoy. Follow her on Twitter @singwithTaffy.

M:  Are you a singer/musician in your day-to-day life, or are the music videos just a hobby?

T:  I founded and operate a rescue/shelter for Capybaras and Pekingese hidden deep in the Santa Monica Mountains. It’s called ALIEN LIFEFORMS MASQUERADING AS EARTH MAMMALS or ALMAEM.

M:  I worked for one of those shelters; we were only able to rescue a Platypus and Gary Busey though.

M:  What kind of musical training have you had?

T:  My first gig was performing Ethel Merman show tunes, with my serpent V.20 at Carnivale in Chronic Grime Sector. You could say it was a rough crowd.

M:  I think show tunes are the number one reason for gang violence.

M:  Where do you get the ideas to make your music videos?

T:  The day before we shoot, I receive a map to hidden locations containing lyrics, costumes and a shot list for the video.

M:  Where do you get all of your costumes and how many wigs do you own?

T:  I make 63% of my costumes. Not sure what a wig is.

M: Hang on and I’ll look it up. It says they were pasty white dudes during the early 19th century.

M:  How long does it take you to make one of your videos?

T:  2:27-3:38 standard earth minutes.

M:  In your song, “Dry Mangina,” I recognize a lot of Twitter friends.  How did you incorporate them into your video?

T:  I traveled to each of their houses, mixed up some Dry Manginas and pushed the record button.

Team Mangina:

@AGreaterMonster, @DarkerWillow, @GOMCcases, @Henry_3k

@Hobo_Splendido, @iinkedZombie, @KentWGraham, @MableGertrude,

@MurrayOverboard, @PFitzpa, @sdarancette, @Super_Cynthia,

@TattleTSister, @tsm560, @tWoTcast and @TySmithdrums

M:  Can I borrow your mermaid costume?

T:  It’s on your front porch.

M: I see it! The UPS man is trying it on right now.

M:  Do you think James Bond should change his signature drink to a dry mangina?

T:  It’s a complicated recipe; I believe a man of action like 007 might be attacked while waiting for the concoction.

M:  Your video, “You See What I’m Sayin’?” is my favorite of all the songs; it’s like a Tarantino short. Where did you get the idea for it?

T:  That’s very kind of you, thank you. It’s a documentary of my typical Tuesday. Gollum insists on a weekly bike ride at Zuma Beach. He can be quite demanding.

M:  You say, “Susan” a lot in the song. Is she a person you know, or are you saying that deep down, we are all Susan?

T:  I’m not really saying Susan, it’s a common misconception. Here’s what’s actually happening:

You see what I’m sayin’?

Seewhadimsayn?

Saynsayn?

SnSn?

M:  Ah, I see what you did there. I think you learned that trick from Eddie Vedder.

M:  I love your video, “Butterflies Taste Like Butter and Flies;” it’s very psychedelic. Who won the Connect Four game?

T:  I WAS VICTORIOUS. The black haired broad got all boiling mad when I won and blasted her face with a lazer.

M:  I noticed you incorporated a couple of different movies into the video; do films play a part in all of your work?

T:  Are you referring to your historical documents? Yes, they have influenced my assimilation into your culture.

M:  Is the part where you are in a monkey suit, breaking the Connect Four game to Strauss, in the director’s cut of 2001 Space Odyssey?

T:  Yes and I was unaware of this until @Henry_3k brought it to light. He’s been filling in for my geriatric manager Sid Jewison who did too much blow with his 80’s musician clients. If you see him cruising the Sunset Strip in his red Porsche, tell him to call me.

M: I know a Catholic priest named Sid Jewison; he does a lot of blow too.

M:  Thank you by the way, for teaching us the correct pronunciation of butter. A lot of people don’t know it’s pronounced, “buttah.”

T:  It’s my pleasure darling but my female spawn Laffy should be credited with edification of the widely misused butter elocution.

M:  In your song, “You’ve Got Hair and You’ve Got Eyes,” I feel like you are singing directly to me, because I meet both criteria. Where did you learn to roller skate like that?

T:  You do indeed, and might I say they are quite lovely! My Twitter sister @buhsbaby_baby is a roller derby coach. She uses a shrill whistle and runs me through drills until my spleen hurts.

M:  Out of all your music videos, which one was your favorite to make and why?

T:  I enjoyed the making of Dry Mangina. It allowed me to experiment with my Calamity Beam Platform technology and I now have places to crash across America and some parts of Canada.

M:  Tell the alcoholics and homeless people where they can find you on the interwebs.

https://m.youtube.com/user/theAnARcHy101channel