M:  What were some of your favorite books growing up, and who are some of your current favorite authors?

B:  Growing up I had a hard time finding authors I related to- I found most of what I read pretty dull, until 6^th grade when I had a sort of rebellious teacher in Catholic school, who made us all read and act out Tennessee Williams, Shakespeare and a host of others. From there, I became a huge fan of Southern Gothic writers- Harry Crews, Flannery O’Connor, John Kennedy Toole and Truman Capote to name a few. Currently I read a huge variety of authors. I just finished Bruce McCulloch’s book, Let’s Start a Riot, which I cannot recommend enough. It was as hysterical, as it was sad at times. I remembered the angst of my first love reading his work, and deeply related to pushing down all feeling about those things- only to find out later it all comes flooding back and you’re helpless in the midst of the chaos you’ve created. I’m also currently reading BJ Novak,  MARIETTA RODGERS (whose book I will be writing about on my blog I love it so much), Joshua Edward Smith’s book, Entropy (which hit close to home in some respects- and it’s beautifully written) and, With a Zero at Its Heart, by Charles Lambert.

M:  You’ve allowed me to have a sneak peek at one of your essays; when are you planning to unveil your genius to the world?

B:  Oh dear….I am a wimp- I started a blog because when someone from, Kids in the Hall,  lights a fire under your ass; you fucking listen! Ha! But, truly- I just want to write- and see what happens. I am going to send more pieces to publishers and hopefully someone won’t hate what I wrote…gulp

M: I wish someone from Kids in the Hall would light a fire under my ass. Not a metaphorical fire either, but an actual fire, just so we can laugh about it and incorporate it into a skit.

M:  What’s it like to be a liberal in Florida?

B:  Just about the same as anywhere I’ve lived in all truthfulness. I know people in the north like to think of the south as morons- and in many cases that’s true, but- I would submit that morons are most of humanity…everywhere. My first week in Chicago, a man said to me, “Whatever you do, don’t live on the south side- that’s where they have the blacks.” Ugh… “THE BLACKS.”  I kid you not. And let’s not forget, historically, the worst race riots in the states were in Boston. So yes, being a liberal in the south has its challenges, but I surround myself with insane creative types and other lefty liberals no matter where I live, so I don’t notice much outside the world I create for myself. Good or bad- it’s how I cope.

M:  We’re both liberals, but we also like to poke fun at the liberal culture. What are some things that you find funny about the culture?

B:  HAHA!! So much! I think, Portlandia has absolutely nailed it. So, I’ll try to be succinct. If I have to put it all into one observation, it’s this: I find liberals to be more interested in being self-important than actually being effective in situations so often; politically this kills us.  But even on a personal level, if liberals would learn to be a little more down to earth and welcoming, I think that would draw more people to a cause, as opposed to having someone shout in your face how stupid you are. At the end of the day: do we want to look good, or have more people come on board through humility and embracing each other to fight the very real issue of global warming for example? It’s like my Nana said: You attract more flies with honey, than you do vinegar…but who wants flies? Now I’m confused…

M:  We grew up on KITH (I feel sorry for those people who don’t know what that abbreviation stands for). Did you and your friends ever reenact some of their sketches? No judging, did you ever crush someone’s head?

B:  ALL THE TIME! I mainly did the Dave Foley bit. I came off as sarcastic and aloof the way he did in many sketches, and I guess I related to that. I still know all the words to his monologue about being bored, about being a serial killer and “I’m a bad doctor.” But my favorite were Bruce’s songs- “Daves I Know” and “Terriers.” They will never leave me.

M:  I am a huge fan of your tweets and I’ve read enough of them to know, that you have a fixation with the sitcom, Full House. Is it Joey’s witty one-liners, Danny Tanner’s cleanliness, or Uncle Jessie’s catch phrase, “have mercy?”

B:  I played both Olsen Twins- don’t tell anyone. Also? That show is comedy genius. Don’t question me.

M:  Is there any one thing on Twitter that bothers you the most, such as stupid @ers, unwanted DM’s, etc.?

B:  Yes- when people explain my own joke to me, or don’t get the joke and tell me how to make it funnier. To them I say: suck my balls- but you know, in a good way.

M:  I read your most recent blog about Thanksgiving. Is there any one particular Thanksgiving or holiday that was memorable for you?

B:  No- they we’re all pretty lame. It was just me, my mom, brother and dad. My brother was a track and field star and ran 20 miles; I would see him for like 10 minutes. My father watched football and my mom and I were bored. THANKSGIVING SUCKED. But now, it’s wonderful. I have a house full of friends, no awful extended family, and it’s beautiful to look down at my son and know that he is growing up with so much joy and festivity around him. This year, they were out in the back playing zombie tag until midnight and the adults were inside drinking wine, listening to Depeche Mode and having a brilliant night. It’s important to create your own happiness. Yuck…was that inspirational? I’m so sorry.

M:  We have discussed films in the past & you recommended I see, Being There, which I did. Peter Sellers was brilliant in it. What are some of your favorite comedic films? Name a few of your favorite comedic actors.

B:  I tend to like dark comedies or things that are unintentionally funny. Christopher Guest and all his mockumentaries kill me. I like Martin Scorsese when he does a funny film- like King of Comedy and After Hours.  Bill Murray, John Cleese, Ricky Gervais, Woody Allen…so many! Ed Wood  and Waiting for Guffman always kills me…

M:  Is there anything you liked or wore during the 80’s or 90’s, that you are now ashamed of, or do you regret nothing?

B:  Um, my love letter to George Michael when I was 12. He’s pretty hard up, what with all the court fees- if he ever finds that mess; he could black mail me.

M:  If you were on Jeopardy, what category would you kick ass in?

B:  Potpourri…but only if it was actually about Potpourri

M:  My final question I stole from, Inside the Actors Studio, just because it’s the lamest question ever. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say at the pearly gates?

B:  Beth, you are so thin.

M:  Tell the perverts, pedophiles, and general weirdos, where they can find you on the interwebs, so they can read some of your brilliant comedy.

B: Twitter: @bourgeoisalien

WordPress: https://bethargyropoulos.wordpress.com/

Pornhub: video entitled “Angry woman eats mac and cheese and never takes off clothes”