Since we live in the age of alternative facts and fake news, here are 20 of my own facts, that everyone should memorize and then use in a job interview.
Fact: No one has ever peeled an entire orange.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) May 14, 2017
Fun Fact: Facts haven't been fun since 1982.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) May 24, 2016
Dinosaur fun fact: An asteroid destroyed all the dinosaur fun facts.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) September 28, 2016
Historical fun fact: Paul Revere rode through town to warn that the Bee Gees were coming.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) July 12, 2016
Fact: You can say any mean thing you want to someone & they won't be mad as long as you moonwalk away.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 21, 2016
Fun fact: No one has ever finished a game of Monopoly.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) April 27, 2017
Food fun fact: No one has ever eaten cauliflower.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) April 7, 2017
Fun Fact: All Toaster Strudels are antisemitic.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) December 8, 2016
Harry Potter fun fact: Everyone who was sorted into Hufflepuff had to work in the mail room in the basement of the Ministry of Magic.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) July 1, 2016
Nature Show Fun Fact: Most animals will leave you alone if you stop poking them with a stick.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 29, 2016
Fact: You can ask any question you want and no one will get mad as long as you have a clipboard.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 27, 2016
Fun Fact: Republicans are proposing a bill in the House to get rid of fun and facts.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 1, 2016
Fun Fact: Jesus invented fun facts.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) November 24, 2015
Fact: Every car salesman has a western themed living room.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) May 31, 2016
Catholic fun fact: Every Pope has to keep a 40 oz under his Pope hat.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) July 12, 2016
Ted Cruz Fun Fact: No.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) March 3, 2016
Fun Fact: The US government ran out of fun facts in 1992 and has been borrowing them from China.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) December 15, 2015
Donald Trump fun fact: All his tweets are written by The Iron Sheik.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 21, 2016
Fun Fact: Your mom is a fun fact.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) December 17, 2014
Fun fact: Hitler hated fun facts.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) September 21, 2015
I like the ones that sound so true I’m not sure of their alternate-reality status.
Thanks for the laughs.
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Thanks Ms. Peach. My favorite one is, “Ted Cruz Fun Fact: No” because he’s so frightening. 🙂
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Ha ha. I loved all the political ones, of course. Did you hear that the Republicans are going to pass a bill saying it’s legal to lie to the FBI?
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Ha! Nothing would surprise me anymore at this point.
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