1. Would you mind going online and filling out a brief survey?
2. I have to go to the bathroom and cry for awhile; please show yourself out.
3. {pull cellphone out} Oh, I forgot, my mom is still on hold.
4. Would you like to buy a magazine subscription?
5. I could really go for some better sex right about now.
6. What do you think I should name the baby?
7. Do you have a minute to talk about Jesus?
8. I have to run; I’m late for my mime workshop.
9. Do you want to see my collection of shrunken heads?
10. Is it okay to open my eyes now?
11. Feel free to touch my mole.
12. Well, there goes five minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
13. LOL!
14. {point to genitals} That is so sad.
15. Where am I?
16. Thank you for participating in my focus group.
17. I feel a burning sensation.
18. Flawless Victory!
19. You know, my stool is silky smooth.
20. Meh.
THE MORDANT SCRIBE 
Nice!
Would you validate my parking?
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😂🤣
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Hilarious!!
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You have landed the dismount, once again… 😉
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Thank you Brian, for enjoying my nonsensical mind.
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“Gotta go, my family is waiting in the car outside”
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HaHa!
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#10 – so appropriate for today’s Royal Wedding.
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HaHa…absolutely!
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LOL Are we there yet? 🙂
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HaHa…that’s great! 😉
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Very funny!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Er, what did you say your name was ?
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Classic! 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Hopefully these aren’t’ from experience. 🙂
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Maybe the, ‘brief online survey one.’ 😉
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Lol
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You have to actually say things to make it awkward?
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You’re right; you could just stare vacantly into space.
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😂😂😂I m not sure I should say this but I have a husband that after twenty years still do that ,just now I don’t get upset anymore ,I look at him Nd he goes “ I sad the worst thing at the worst time again right?” ,so I usually say” yes darling ,as usual” and we both laugh .🤷🏻♀️😂
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HaHa … well it’s good that he acknowledges that he sometimes says the worst things at the worst times, but the fact that you both laugh about it, shows you have a respectful relationship. 🙂
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Yes and also I know my chicken by now😂
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