THE MORDANT SCRIBE

Cynical musings of an absurd mind.

We Don’t Need No Education: Principles of Trumponomics 101 Syllabus

pink-floyd-the-wall-hammers

Course:  Principles of Trumponomics 101, Make Economics Great Again.

Instructor:  Donald “Jazzy” Trump.

Office Phone:  (202) 555-4212. (Sean Spicer’s home phone)

Term:  Fall 2018.

Class Time:  MWF 11 – 11:50 am.

Office Hours:  During non-peak Twitter hours only.

Course Description:  This course is an introduction to whack-assed economics, as it relates to employing concepts to help you understand the dystopian clown carnival you now live in. We will focus heavily on bankruptcy laws and how to use them to your advantage. Also, how to save money, by leaving small contractors unpaid for their work. Adam Smith’s, “Invisible Hand” will be replaced with my tiny, man-hands, which I will strangle the American economy with. In Principles of Trumponomics, students will learn non-traditional problem solving techniques, like pulling random numbers out of your ass. We will learn the importance of down-sizing your company, by firing entry-level workers. A fiscal policy known in my Human Centipede administration as, “cutting the crusts off a shit sandwich.” In this course we will discuss the benefits of getting rid of TPP, while still being down with O.P.P. Students will learn to think up insults that will alienate all of our trading partners (except Russia) and how to start an expensive trade war, that will take down the entire American economy.

Learning Objectives:  LOL!

Application Objectives:  Students will plot their data using a bar graph or pie chart. An actual pie is also acceptable. If an illegal immigrant steals your pie, come see me during my office hours. Feel free to use alternate facts or real facts; I won’t know the difference. Remember, it’s not about accountability, but deniability.

Prerequisites:  Reaganomics, elementary school and must follow me on Twitter.

Text:  The Art of the Deal.

Grading:  All grading will be done by my chief economic adviser, Gary Cohn, using a rubric cube.

Academic Honesty:  Each student will sign the honor code. Cheating and plagiarism are not tolerated with the exception of the following sources:  Fox News, Breitbart News, Glenn Beck Program, anncoulter.com, fortune cookies and Wikipedia.

End-of-term Course Evaluations:  At the end of the term, you have the opportunity to evaluate me and the quality of the course. Any evaluations that aren’t terrific, fantastic, amazing or great will result in failing the course.

5 Comments

  1. I heard that one of the prerequisites is that you have to rich. That way when you apply your new skills the law won’t apply to you. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is terrific! You had me giggling… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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