10 Things to Say to Make It More Awkward on an Elevator.

April 28, 2017 Marietta Rodgers14 Comments

elevator

It’s awkward enough, just standing in such close proximity with a stranger in the elevator. A Phil Collins song is playing in the background and you’re both just staring straight ahead and wishing a fiery inferno would consume the elevator. Well, here are ten things that I have posted on my Twitter account you can say, to make things even more awkward.

When walking off an elevator, I like to turn around & say, "this is the part in our adventure where I must leave you now."

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) April 3, 2017

I like to say to strangers in the elevator, "You probably don't remember me, but I delivered a pizza to your house last year."

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) March 8, 2017

I like to yell, "hey, you forgot your bag of dicks" as people walk off the elevator.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) December 5, 2016

I like to stand next to a stranger on the elevator and whisper, "I read what you said on the internet."

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) October 17, 2016

In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) August 12, 2016

I like to step into an elevator and say, "not the fat one again," so that everyone on it wonders if they're the "fat one."

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 5, 2016

I'm just spending my weekend as usual, asking strangers in the elevator if they fear death.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 13, 2015

My hobbies include telling strangers in the elevator that the mission has been compromised & they have to take the cyanide capsule now.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) May 6, 2015

Yelling, "I said I wanted the good kind of sex" when people step off the elevator with me is kind of my thing.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) April 17, 2015

I like getting in an elevator when there is only one other person & yelling, "which one of you assholes touched my boob?"

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) July 9, 2014

14 thoughts on “10 Things to Say to Make It More Awkward on an Elevator.”

The Good Greatsby says:

April 28, 2017 at 2:27 pm

I laughed at so many of these. I’m going to start using that pizza delivery line when meeting new people.

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- Marietta Rodgers says:
  
  April 28, 2017 at 2:31 pm
  
  Thanks, I appreciate that. I was really lazy with this post, because I just copied and pasted my past Twitter posts. I realized I had a whole elevator theme going and thought I’d share.
  
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- Marietta Rodgers says:
  
  April 28, 2017 at 2:32 pm
  
  Be very specific on the date you delivered the pizza, for maximum creepy effect.
  
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  - The Good Greatsby says:
    
    April 28, 2017 at 2:42 pm
    
    Being specific is probably most effective on people who look like they eat a lot of pizza.
    
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  - Marietta Rodgers says:
    
    April 28, 2017 at 2:47 pm
    
    It could back fire on you though, because they could say, “Oh yeah, I remember that. How are you? How’s your family?”
    
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Jim says:

April 28, 2017 at 3:13 pm

Ha ha!

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- Marietta Rodgers says:
  
  April 28, 2017 at 3:25 pm
  
  ☺
  
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D. Wallace Peach says:

April 28, 2017 at 6:29 pm

LOL. I can’t even begin to pick a favorite. You are too funny. I’d love to see a video of this in action. 🙂

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Marietta Rodgers says:

April 28, 2017 at 6:35 pm

Thanks Love! ☺❤ I wonder if I could pull off the group photo and then just post it on Facebook with the caption, “Family Reunion 2017”

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Bourgeois Alien says:

April 28, 2017 at 11:44 pm

I can’t wait to be trapped in an elevator with you and Ben Carson.

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Marietta Rodgers says:

April 29, 2017 at 12:25 am

Sexy!

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Ankur Mithal says:

April 29, 2017 at 3:06 am

I bet you are a popular elevator companion 🙂

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- Marietta Rodgers says:
  
  April 29, 2017 at 1:29 pm
  
  People usually give me a wide berth. ☺
  
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decadentlife says:

September 4, 2017 at 2:47 pm

This is a good read since I’m taking elevators more due to my move.

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