Ten Ways To Prevent Your Coworkers From Telling You About Their Weekend

office

It’s Friday afternoon; it’s almost time to go and that one coworker, who is always just a little too happy, wants to tell you about their weekend plans and if they don’t catch you on Friday, they will find a way on Monday to corner you and tell you in excruciating detail, all about how they pressure washed their deck. Here are ten full proof ways to nip that right in the bud.

When any of my coworkers start to tell me their weekend plans, I pluck a hair from their head & say, "I'll need this for later."

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) March 9, 2017

I like to say, "This is neither the time nor the place" whenever my coworkers start to tell me about their weekend plans.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) January 4, 2017

I find the best way to get your coworkers to stop telling you what they did over the weekend is to throw a baby at them.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 27, 2016

CW: I have a lot of things lined up for the weekend. I'm going to…
Me: *opens a bag of SunChips & doesn't' hear any of it*

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) November 13, 2015

I'm sorry I pretended to be dead when you were trying to tell me about your weekend plans.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) October 15, 2015

A don't ask, don't tell policy, except it has to do with coworkers trying to tell you about their weekend plans.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) September 11, 2015

No one wants to hear your weekend stories unless they end with, "and that's what I call a sticky situtation."

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) June 10, 2015

A rape whistle, but to blow every time your coworker's try to tell you about their weekend plans.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) March 27, 2015

Unless your weekend story was a crocodile having you in a death roll & you let it bite your arm off to save yourself, I don't really care.

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) January 23, 2015

CW: I'm going away this weekend.
Me: Hang on let me check to see if I give a shit.
M: Checking…
M: Wait I found…nope still checking…

— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) October 17, 2014